12/01/99 07:26:28 AM | |
Name: | Hillari Hunter |
Do you consider yourself a feminist? | Yes. |
How did you find out about my site? | Surfing the 'Net. |
Where are you from? | Chicago |
Comments: | Al, when my mother was being beat by my father, that was back in the 1960's when feminism had yet to emerge. There were no battered women shelters for her to run to. He turned around and left her for a woman who had a PhD and a career, which was odd, considering that while he was with my mother, he forbade her to work for a time, and gave her very little money to run the house with (he was gambling it away and spending the rest on girlfriends). He was and still is, a chauvinist, and very few family members can stand to be around him now due to his many personality flaws. My mother is not a feminist; she believes in traditional family roles. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but when my father proved he wasn't trustworthy, loving or dependable, she had to take a job to make sure the kids would be provided for, regardless of what nonsense he put out. This eased the transition when he finally walked out on us. Mom did not believe in welfare or handouts, and passed along a strong work ethic to her children. Where some other single moms failed, I believe she did a damn good job with us, considering my father ignored the fact that he had children once he left. I've become very independent because of what I observed and learned of my parents' ill-fated marriage. I'm not a raving man-hater, but I cannot see leaning on one of you all totally for financial support. If that makes me wrong, well. . .so be it. The fact is that feminism has not fixed this problem. So, yes you are wrong, sadly wrong if you think that feminism is the answer to men beating women. Women are being beat in record numbers, after 30 years of the feminist "solution" to this problem. Your father was a slug, not a chauvinist. If he were a chauvinist he would never have married a working woman for starters, and if he were chivalrous chauvinist like myself, he would never have hit a woman! (See the Chauvinist Axiom #1.) While it is true that some women and children have suffered throughout time due to men who are jerks, feminism has not slowed that problem down, but rather speeded it up. More women and children are abused today than before. That should tell you something. Exceptions to a rule do not necessarily invalidate the rule. There are children who have had abusive fathers who think fathers in general are a bad idea. They are wrong, completely wrong but that is what happens when you use a single example to set your world view by. You cannot intelligently get around the facts of life. Children need fathers and mothers, their real fathers and mothers. They need a mother at home raising them. Just because some fathers or some mothers are terrible parents, does not take away the basic needs of the children. It only warps them into folks who can no longer understand what is normal and good for a family. My condolences to you. -Al- |
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